When My Heart Breaks
by Amako-chan
Summary: Shuichi is found out in a terrible storm, after getting hit by a car. he's lost part of his memory, but things will slowly start to come back as his relationship with Tohma starts to increase...
1. Bleeding

When My Heart Brakes

Chapter 1: Bleeding

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Gravitation…WAAAH:'(

There I lie. Bleeding. My mind tumbling with all of these thoughts. Why couldn't the little voice in my head just shut-up for once? Didn't it realize just how loud it was screaming? Rain poured onto me, dripping off my bubble gum, pink hair. My violet eyes brimming with tears. Slowly they slipped down my cheeks. Burning trails to stain my skin. Soft sobs escaped me.

It was his usual stroll down the street. Rain, or no rain, he needed his nightly walks to clear his thoughts free of what was troubling him. He'd finally lost his stupid crush on Eiri, Yuki when Mika had left him. He didn't need her. He had a whole new crush. A crush on certain pink haired singer. He sighed,

"It won't happen."

It was then that he heard cries of pain and saw a small crowd of people standing on the road ahead. An ambulance pulled up to the area and police were standing around the scene, blocking people off.

"Interesting."

He made a quicker pace, approaching the area, he couldn't help but be curious about the scene before him. He headed towards a little faster and stopped when he reached the crowd, he slipped to the front of it and his eyes grew.

There was a slender, pink haired form, bleeding, lying out on a stretcher and being lifted into the ambulance. He rushed fore ward, past the cops. He ran to the ambulance.

"Shuichi!"

I opened my eyes at last. I was staring up into a big, bright light. The whole room was white.

"Am I…Dead?"

"No, you're not _dead_, you're in a hospital." A voice to my right told me. I looked.

"Se-Seguchi-san!"

All I got was a smile from NG's Producer. I sat and stared at the blonde, who had his green eyes fixed on me.

"So, how are you feeling Shuichi, any better?"

I sat up,

"Yeah, I feel…Fine."

'Wait! He called me 'Shuichi' instead of calling me 'Shindo-san!'

I must have looked very confused, for he spoke up again.

"Do you mind if I call you by your first name instead of your last? I'm sorry, I should have asked you before saying it…I used it last night when I saw you. I was very scared."

I suddenly felt a pink stain on my cheeks.

Was I…Blushing? In front of Tohma? Why? Did I…Did I actually _like_ Tohma in that sense? No, it couldn't be happening. It just couldn't!

(End of chapter # 1…I know I'm evil…Hehehehe)


	2. My Memory

**Chapter # 2: My Memory**

It was happening. As much as I hated the facts. It was really happening. Tohma sat there, smiling at me and I felt my cheeks burn even more as I looked away, staring at the bed sheet. Tohma's smile changed slightly. He placed a hand on mine.

"I was very worried about you Shuichi, you're lucky you were found when you were…"

"I…I just…" I sighed,

"I don't remember what happened to me last night…"

He seemed shocked by this, but hid it with his smile.

"I don't remember anything…Except for the fact that Yuki kicked me out again…Because of his new boyfriend…'BAD LUCK' can't be a band anymore…Not after that…Not after I saw that…" I stated tears trailing down my cheeks.

Tohma sighed,

"I understand…I actually gave up on Yuki because of his new boyfriend…Thought I knew about it long before you did…"

"You mean…He was _cheating_ on me!"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"I knew you'd figure it out on your own…And I couldn't have a private word with you even if I tried…Not with K-san and the others always around you eavesdropping."

I sighed,

"That makes sense…"

I still couldn't believe that Yuki had betrayed me like this…With Fujisaki, Suguru of all people. My band mate. My friend.

'_Then Tohma gave up because it angered him that Yuki would rather be with Suguru?'_ The thought ran through my mind suddenly.

"Did you give up on him because…He'd rather be with Suguru?"

"Because Suguru took him when he knew how much a chance would've meant to me…So I decided, if he wanted Suguru…I didn't want him…I like someone new now…And it's all thanks to something they've done for me…"

"What did they do for you?"

Tohma froze, thinking of something to say,

"They helped me out…" He said simply.

**Tohma's Flashback (Tohma's POV)**

I stared at the brunette who refused to leave my office. I wished she'd leave already,

"So, I suggest you leave my brother alone, got it? Just because I'm gone, doesn't mean you should go after him. Besides, you know he's dating someone new…Behind Shindo's back of course…"

"I know," I groaned.

"Don't use an additude with me, now listen up—"

"I think he heard you the first five times you said it Mika-chan," a voice said suddenly.

I looked up from staring at my desk, to see a pink haired male, with his back to me, arms crossed over his chest, staring at Mika. He was trying to get rid of her.

"So why don't you leave?" He questioned sternly,

"I'm sure Seguchi-san, has plenty better things to do then listen to you."

'_Damn,'_ I thought suddenly,

'_He's different when he's forceful…Interesting…'_

I leaned back in my chair, watching as Mika's expression changed. She went from looking strong and tough to looking like she might just drop her jaw onto the floor.

'_Very interesting indeed.'_

Soon Mika stormed off and out of the room. I sat back up in my chair, hands together on my desk. Shuichi turned around and faced me,

"Sorry for interrupting sir."

"Not at all…In fact, you just relieved me of some stress."

"Oh. So, you're not mad?"

"Of course not. Now, what did you need?"

"Oh! Right! Uhm…I just…I came because of…"

'_He's stuttering?'_

"…Suguru told me to give you this…" he stated holding out a note to me.

"I…I really didn't _want_ to."

I took the note and looked it over,

'_Bet you're jealous now huh?'_

I sighed and shoved the note away, into my desk. Shuichi stared at me, concerned.

"Are you alright Seguchi-san?"

I looked up to him and saw all of his concern for me and for what I was feeling at that point in time. And that's when the feeling began.

**End Flash Back (Tohma's POV)**

**Return to Shuichi's POV**

I could see him reflecting on his past and almost swore I saw my name written in his eyes. Was he thinking about me? Was he thinking about the time when I had help him to get rid of Mika? With Tohma…It was hard to tell.


	3. Secrets

Chapter # 3: Secrets

Tohma withdrew his hand and placed both of his hands in his lap. That's when I caught onto it, without any doubts I knew he was talking about me, but I didn't let on. I would just have to play it dumb until I figured out just how I felt.

I stared at the bed sheets once again.

"They'll let you out today you know, if you're feeling well enough to leave," Tohma stated.

I looked to him,

"I'm ready to go, but I have no where _to_ go."

"You must have _some_ where."

"Not to Yuki, 'cause he's got Suguru now…He doesn't need me anymore…Not to Hiro's, he's having his big date with Ayaka tonight…Ryu-chan is in America on a trip again…" I sighed,

"No where."

"Well, there's a guestroom at my house if you want to use that?" Tohma questioned.

I could see he would really enjoy my staying. Maybe he'd enjoy it a little to much though?

"That's fine. As long as you answer this."

"What is it Shindo-san?"

"Does your crush like you back?"

"I…I don't really know. I haven't tried asking him out. Usually I don't show anyone any of my weak emotions like this, but I can't hold it back any longer. I've been holding back far to long. I won't miss another opportunity at happiness. I just won't take the risk."

I didn't think he'd be so honest with me. This was a side of Tohma I don't think even Mika had seen.

"So, what's your crush like?"

I had to keep playing dumb so he wouldn't know that I'd found him out.

"Well, he's cute, funny…Very creative too…And of course," he leaned over by my ear and whispered,

"Very clever. You knew all along now didn't you?"

My cheeks burned,

"H-how did…?"

"I read your expression like an open book. If you are planning to hide things from people, you shouldn't allow them to see through you for even a minute…"

"I'll try to remember that. Am I really that easy to read?"

"A four year old could've told you were lying," he stated, smiling.

My blushed deepened,

"_That_ bad, huh?"

"I'm afraid so."

A nurse walked into the room, followed by another male.

"Someone to see you Shindo-san," she stated before taking her leave.

Tohma and I both looked to my visitor.

"It-it _can't_ be!"


	4. Hiro

**Chapter # 4: Hiro**

Eiri, Yuki stood at the beds edge. His golden blonde hair shining against the hospital room's light. His amber eyes fixed on me and Tohma. Tohma stood up,

"Eiri-san, what on Earth are you doing here?"

"Suguru told me to bring him here to see Shuichi."

Suguru's head of short, green hair suddenly showed up. His soft hazel eyes a glow.

"Hey Shuichi, hi Tohma. Shuichi, how are you?"

"I was better when you weren't here," I stated, slipping off the bed to stand up by Tohma.

Suguru looked a little taken back by this,

"I just thought I should ask considering Hiro couldn't be here to ask you…"

"If he could be, he would be!" I shot angered.

"Brake it up you two, I'm right here," Hiro's voice said from the doorway.

"HIRO!" I rushed over and hugged my friend,

"Thank God you showed up! I have so much to talk to you about!"

Ayaka came in suddenly.

I looked at her,

"Can I please borrow Hiro for a little bit…I'll explode if I don't talk to him…Please?"

The brunette girl smiled,

"Go ahead."

I grabbed Hiro's hand and half-dragged him into the hallway to talk to him.

"Hiro, this is really important ok?"

"Alright…Go ahead."

"Ok," I took a really deep breath,

"Yuki broke up with me for Suguru and then Tohma stopped liking Suguru and Mika left Tohma around the same time and then she came and was pestering Tohma and so I helped him out and now Tohma likes _me_ and I have no idea what I should do now because I don't know if I like him back in that sense, or not and I'm worried about staying at his house like he asked me to because of it."

Somehow I had managed to say all of that in one breath. Hiro stared at me like I had fourteen heads.

"Two questions Shu…"

"Yeah?"

"1. Tohma_ likes_ you? And 2. How the hell did you get all that out in one breath?"

"Yes, Tohma likes me, and I don't know…I have…Magic powers?"

I must have sprouted two more heads 'cause that's how Hiro stared at me.


	5. I'll Be Your Guardian Angel

**Chapter # 5: I'll Be Your Guardian Angel**

Hiro and I re-entered the room to find Mika sitting in a chair by the window and Suguru sitting on the bed's edge. Yuki and Tohma were arguing.

"So now you want Shuichi!" Yuki hollered.

"You don't have a need for him any longer! Not with Suguru!"

"So that doesn't mean you just take my ex 'cause you can't have _me_!"

"That's _not_ why I want to be with him Eiri-san!"

"Then what's your reason!"

"I want to be with him because I love him! And that's more then what you even seemed to feel for the boy! If you weren't so locked up in your damn past, I think you'd see how much you hurt him!"

"Oh, like rape is something you forget very easily!"

"I don't expect it to be, but that doesn't mean you can hurt the one's around you who care!"

"You're not going to boss me around Seguchi! Just 'cause you're NG's President, doesn't mean _I_ have to listen to you!"

"Well, in this case, you should!"

"Well, I'm not going to!"

"Stop it," I stated, covering my ears.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT!"

They both stopped yelling and looked at me.

"I won't be treated…Like a piece of…Property!"

"Shu-chan…" Tohma's voice was softer now and he approached me,

"I'm sorry…If that's how I made things sound…"

"Oh sure, suck up why don't ya?" Yuki's cold voice said sarcastically.

I glared at him,

"Listen to me," I stated firmly, tears welling up in my violet eyes. This time, I wouldn't let them fall.

"I want you to take your little boyfriend and go, and I never wanna see your face again."

Yuki didn't reply.


	6. It's Over

**Chapter # 6: It's Over**

**( The bolded words in the story are song lyrics to the song "Over"-Ayumi Hamasaki…I do not own these lyrics or this anime) (If it's bold & underlined…it's not part of the song! Lolz)**

I sighed and turned, walking out of the room.

I could hear Hiro's voice say,

"Common Ayaka, let's get outta here."

He followed me out, followed by Ayaka.

I waited a moment for them to catch up. Hiro came up beside me,

"Hey Shu, you alright?"

"Yeah, fine."

Ayaka stayed quiet, allowing for us to communicate. I was silently thanking her for that. She knew I needed Hiro very badly right now. My life was not so easy.

"So, bet it feels good to finally get rid of Yuki right? I mean, he won't be able to hurt you anymore and you won't suffer so much now, right?"

**Ano hi nanika iikaketa (I still remember your profile)**

"Yeah."

I was quietly breaking down. I didn't think I could hold back much longer.

"Hiro…I'm hurting really bad right now…I'm, scared, of what will happen…If I let Tohma get to me…How I let Yuki get to me…" I stated, staring at the floor.

**Yokogao mada oboete iru yo (When you were about to say)**

Hiro looked at me,

"Yeah, I guess that would be really hard."

**Nee saigo made chan to kite (Something on that day)**

I could feel myself, losing myself.

Yuki was suddenly in the hallway behind us,

"SHU!"

I turned around and looked at him.

**Agerarenaku-tte gomen ne (I'm sorry for not having heard you out)**

"Don't call me Shu," I stated.

"Ryu-chan, can call me 'Shu'… Hiro, can call me 'Shu'…And Tohma can call me 'Shu.' "

I drew a sharp breath, holding back on my tears.

"But you…Don't you ever call me 'Shu' again!"

He looked a little shocked by how much I had allowed myself to yell. To speak my mind. It was about time I did too.

Tohma stepped out of the room. I looked at him next, but no words could find their way out. But some finally did,

"**I honestly love you."**

With that, I turned around and started walking away.

**Sukoshi no yuuki ga tarinakute (I didn't have a little more courage)**

**Switiching to Tohma's POV**

I stared after him,

"Shu-chan…"

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I hadn't cried in such a long time. Years. Maybe nine years now. I'd almost cried when I found Yuki after he had shot Kitazawa, but I hadn't. I hadn't cried in nine full years now. Nine. What a big number.

**Namida kakushita ne (And hid my tears)**

I wished I could turn back the hands of time to when Yuki and I used to get along and maybe, stop myself from marrying his sister. None of this would be happening then.

**Mou nido to wa (Though I knew)**

**modorenai to  
Wakatteta noni ne ( We would never be as we were)**

I looked at Yuki,

"See you later Eiri-san."

"What ever."

**Mata ne to te wo futte wakareta (I parted from you waving my hand And saying "See you again")  
Itsumo no you ni wakareta (I parted from you as usual)**

I took off after Shuichi. I wouldn't lose him. I wouldn't allow myself to pass up the chance of being happy again.

**Tsunaida te wo hodoku no wa (It is easier than we think)**

**Omou yori mo KANTAN da ne (to let go of each other's hands)**

**Switching to Shuichi's POV**

I sighed as I heard approaching footsteps, I looked.

"T-Tohma?"

"You sound surprised to see me."

**Demo hodoita te wo mou ichido  
Tsunagu no wa muzukashii n da ne (But it is hard to join hands together again, isn't it?)**

I just stared at him, not knowing _what_ to say.

"Shu-chan…I heard…I heard what you said back there…Before you walked off…"

"You-you _heard_ that?"

He nodded,

"I know that song…That's a very nice one…I believe I remember one of the lines to it…" He looked in thought, then leaned by my ear,

"Ah, yes, I remember now…

**I can't smile without you."**

My cheeks lit up in an instant. I knew he wasn't just quoting the song. He was speaking from his heart. And I…Was happy.

**Tatta hitokoto ga ienakute (I could not say just one word)**

I could feel my eyes watering up with tears once again. Did I really want to return this feeling?

I fell to my knees.

**Kaze ga tsumetai ne (the wind is cold)**

Tears trailed down my cheeks.

**Ima ni natte namida shiteru (I'm in tears now)**

Tohma crouched before me,

"Are you alright Shu-chan?"

I reached out to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and my head on the same shoulder. I just kept on crying. I couldn't help it. I was hurting so much. Now I understood though, how he must feel.

**Watashi dake samui wake ja nai koto mo wakatta no (Now I know it's not me alone, who feels the coldness)**

He slipped his arms around me, holding me close. My arms went around his neck and he let me sit in his lap. He sat against the wall.

**Dakedo ososugita mitai (But it seems to late)**

A little girl came walking by with her mother and saw us.

She walked over to us,

"Is he ok?" Her little voice questioned.

**Kyori wa nani wo sukoshi zutsu toozakeru no kana (What is getting little by little, farther by the distance?)**

"Yes, he's alright. He's just a little sad."

"Oh…" She was holding a bunch of red roses.

"Can I give him a rose? Maybe he'll be happy then?"

"Sure…Shu-chan?" Tohma questioned looking down at me.

I looked up.

The little girl held out the red rose to me,

"Here you go! You should smile! Nobody wants to see you cry, 'cause then they might cry and then their friends will cry and then their friends will cry until the whole world cries…Smiling is a much better thing to spread among your friends, don't you think so?"

I smiled, accepting the rose.

"Yes, you're right. And thank you very much."

"You're welcome!" She hurried back over to her mother and the two walked away.

**Toki ga nagare sukoshi zutsu wasureteku no kana (Do I forget little by little, as time passes by?)**

I didn't pay attention and pulled my finger away from a thorn. It was the only thorn on the rose. Just my luck I guess.

I placed my fingertip in my mouth slightly,

"Ouch."

Tohma looked at me,

"What happened?"

"Thorn," I said quietly,

"I wasn't paying attention."

"I see…" he pulled out a small bit of bandage and held out his hand for my finger. I gave him his needed access and the blood came to the surface again. He place my finger to his lips and drew the blood away and quickly wrapped it up afterwards. I must have been completely red in the face, 'cause that's what it felt like. I stared at my finger,

"Thank you."

**It's over**

I woke up to the feeling of someone's finger's brushing through my hair gently, and slowly. I cuddled up to the one doing this and could hear them give off a small chuckle.

"You're so cute when you're tired," they whispered.

**Taisetsu datta ne (It was a treasure wasn't it?)**

"Or when I'm just waking up," I muttered.

He smiled,

"Awake now huh?"

"Yes."

"I didn't think you'd ever wake up again…You slept past noon already…"

I shot up,

"NOON!"

"Yes…It's actually 2 PM right now…"

"Why didn't you wake me!"

"There was no need _to_ wake you."

**Nani yori mo mamotte itakatta (I wished to protect it, more then anything else)**

"And besides, you looked to comfortable to wake up."

"I can't sleep my days away like this for ever you know," I stated.

"I know…But the doctor's said you'd be a little tired after that incident with the car…"

**Sudden Flashback**

My eyes grew in horror as I saw the headlights coming at me to fast for me to move.

**End Sudden Flashback**

I moved away from him, hugging myself, eyes shut tightly.

**Kaze ga tsumetakute (The wind is cold)**

Tohma stared at me in shock a moment and heard my soft whimpers. He embraced me,

"I'm sorry Shu-chan…I forgot that you lost parts of your memory from this…I'm sorry for scaring you like that…I didn't mean to make you remember that…"

I snuggled into him, still whimpering slightly.

**Ima ni natte namida shiteru (I'm in tears now)**

"I love you…Tohma…" My voice allowed itself to drift up to his ears, as I allowed my tears to trail down my cheeks.

He only hugged me tighter.

**Watashi dake samui wake ja nai koto mo wakatta no (Now I know it's not me alone who feels the coldness)**

"Shu-chan…I swear to you, I will never allow you to be hurt the way Eiri-san hurt you…And you can trust me when I say I will never hurt you like he did…"

**Dakedo ososugita mitai (But it seems to late)**

I just held myself closer to him. Tohma had never shown a soul this side before, that much I knew.

**Kyori wa nani wo sukoshi zutsu toozakeru no kana (What is getting little by little, farther by the distance?)**

"I love you…Shu-chan…"

**Toki ga nagare sukoshi zutsu wasureteku no kana (Do I forget little by little as time passes by?)**

"I never thought…Anyone would tell me those words…And mean it…" I whispered to him.

**SAYONARA itsu made mo iroasenai hito (Good-bye, you'll never fade in my memory)**

"Well," he placed a finger under my chin and made me face him.

**SAYONARA sae mo umaku tsutaekirezu ni ( I didn't even say good-bye to you clearly)**

"_I_ mean it."

With that, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

**It's over**

**(HAI! It's over! HAHA SUCKRS! R&R! PWEASEEEEEEE! -puppie eyes u-)  
**


End file.
